Hiring a Doula for your Birth: What to Expect and What to Ask

When I found out I was pregnant, it never even crossed my mind that I would try to give birth without an epidural. When it comes to needles and pain, I am a wimp! I'm the patient that has been chased around the doctor's office to get a shot and also the one that gets sweaty palms when I see that needle coming towards me. What I realized throughout my pregnancy, is that alot of my fear was simply caused by the anxiety leading up to the shot, blood draw or procedure. I would let my mind go to a scary place instead of breathing and focusing on happy things!

About halfway through my pregnancy, I had read a few books and done a little research like most moms do at that point! One night I decided that we would watch "The Business of Being Born" on Netflix. We made some homemade pizza, Kyle had some wine and I had a big glass of water and we snuggled on the couch to watch the documentary. If you haven't watched this documentary, I would highly recommend it. 

Coming from a "medical family"( my dad was a surgeon and my mom is an RN), I never really thought about or explored other options regarding birth. I'm not blaming this on my parents, but I was just raised that doctors know best and you should always listen to them even if you don't necessarily agree with the recommendations. 

After watching the documentary, I had lots of questions and I began talking to Kyle about all of our options. We decided to take a Lamaze class, because even if I did plan on getting an epidural, I wouldn't be able to get it right away and I needed to have options to deal with my pain. Our Lamaze class was a one on one class with Nicia from the The Right Path Birth Class. For 3 weeks, we learned all about childbirth, practiced scenarios and birthing techniques and asked lots of questions. During the "scenarios", Nicia showed Kyle different touch techniques and holds to make me comfortable. Kyle did awesome learning the techniques and keeping me focused, but at the end of the day, something was lacking. This is hard to explain, but I responded more to Nicia's touch than Kyle's touch. I don't know why, but it was more maternal and felt more comforting. Of course, this was very hard to tell Kyle because I knew that he would be a great coach, but I felt like I needed a little more support if I was going to have Charlotte without any pain medication. I knew it would be a long and intense labor and I felt like Kyle could use help to help me as well! 

So, we started looking into a doula. Once again, never in my wildest dreams would I have ever thought about hiring a doula. Just like many things related to birth, breastfeeding, etc. there are alot of stigmas and I am guilty of having a judgement of doulas before I really knew what they did! 

I would highly recommend a doula or labor support coach to anyone who is giving birth, regardless of whether or not you want to have a natural birth. 

Our birth team with our doula, Miki

Charlotte and Miki

We only interviewed one doula, but here are some questions to ask so you can see if she is a good fit for you. 

• What kind of training or certifications have you received? 
• What is your background in? 
• Our doula was a massage therapist and certified yoga instructor. I think this made a huge difference because she was the "total package". She was able to do pressure points and massage through contractions and help me with breathing.
• How many births have you been a part of? 
• Are you familiar with the hospital or birthing center? 
• What items do you provide during labor? 
• This would include essential oils, tennis balls for massage, yoga mat, birthing ball, ice packs, washcloths, etc. 
• Who is your backup should you be unavailable? 
• Are you comfortable with my birth plan? 
• I was very upfront and honest with my doula in letting her know that I probably would get an epidural at some point. Set expectations with your doula so she can be on the same page. 
• When do your services start and when do they end? 
• Your doula should have several pre-birth meetings to discuss your birth plan and get to know you as a couple! My doula even did a pre-natal massage for me! 
• Our doula came to our house and helped me labor at home and then moved to the hospital. 
• How involved are you after the birth? 
• Your doula should follow up with you in some regard after the birth, whether it be by phone, email or in person. 
• There are also doulas that specialize in care once you are home from the hospital to help with baby and your transition into motherhood. 
• What are your fees?
• Here in Hawaii, doulas range from $500-$1200 for the entire experience (pre-meetings, labor and follow up) or approximately $20/hour for after birth care. 

By no means as I am expert when it comes to doulas. A reader asked me to blog about my doula experience, so that is the root of this post. For those who are pregnant, I really hope you consider a doula. I promise you will not regret the decision! Comment or shoot me an email with any questions!